Said the Spider to the Fly
by vts
Summary: Anko Mitarashi would like to think that she is no longer naïve, but she knows plenty who are. A “casual” meeting on the streets adds another to that list. [AnkoNaruto]


**A/N: **I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to write this, but I actually don't mind it that much. A hypothetical meeting between Anko and Naruto, set around chapter 245. There were also going to be some Orochimaru/Anko undertones, but they didn't quite work out, so you have plain flashbacks to conversations instead. Booo.

**Warnings: **Not much here, actually. Some sexual implications and coarse language on Anko's part, but I don't think it's enough to warrant a higher rating. This is also my first time writing both characters, so if I screw something up, feel free to let me know.

---  
_Said the Spider to the Fly  
_---

Two and a half years can have varying effects on a person. Anko has seen enough to know that it can change someone forever ("Orochimaru-sensei, I think...") or it can have absolutely no influence. Naruto Uzumaki had seemed like one of the latter at first; when she saw him in Konoha strutting beside Jiraiya-sama after his absence, she didn't even try to force back her grin. He was wearing less orange, but he had yet to give up his fondness for the color, and _damn_ he still grinned like a moron. She had learned that his "maturity", if it could really be called that, consisted of creating an even _more_ perverted version of the Sexy Jutsu (which she was, admittedly, rather curious about) and deciding that his ancient magazines were no longer to his liking – though his teacher's novels were much too dull for him, somehow.

And he still had quite the temper. Delicious.

So, who could blame her for wanting to give a warm welcome?

It had been easy enough getting him alone. Simply put, the student-teacher duo had passed an open bathhouse; Jiraiya cleared his throat and stepped inside, claiming that he suddenly craved inspiration. Naruto, probably all too used to the lewd hermit's behavior, gave a flimsy protest and let him go in. He then muttered something about a nearby yakitori stand and, with his hands in his pockets, turned on his toe to leave.

Anko stood before him, smirking. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Naruto's eyes went wide. He stepped backwards and wobbled, just saving himself from falling completely over on the dry ground. "It's you!"

"It sure is. You could've at least said goodbye before taking off like that," Anko sneered, slowly creeping forward.

"Ahh..." Naruto blinked for a second or two, shocked. Then he frowned, backing up some more, then pointed at her in some strange assertion of personal space. "Why would I want to say goodbye to _you_, you crazy lady! You could've sucked my blood out or something like that!"

Anko raised an eyebrow. "Y'know, I almost forgot about that."

"How could you forget about something like that?" he shouted, pulling his hand away and clenching it into a fist. "It was so _weird_ and _creepy_ –"

"And?"

"And..." He trailed off and growled, "Why are you even following me? Are you some kind of stalker?"

She stared at him blankly. "Where do you get these strange ideas from? All I wanted to do was say 'hello'," she held out her hands palm-up and shrugged, "but you seem to be too afraid of me to give a decent reply."

"Who says I'm scared?"

"You look like you are," she replied smugly. "What, you've been following _Jiraiya_ around and I'm somehow scarier than anything else you've seen? That's pretty damn pathetic, if I do say so myself."

"Of course you're not!" Naruto attempted to scoff. "There was this one chick that he hung out with that was _really_ scary –"

Obviously, she had also forgotten how annoying he could be. She grabbed the top of his head lightning-quick; he shut up immediately. "Look," she said, her voice suddenly low and deadly, "I know that I'm kinda weird, but –" she leaned forward and whispered in his ear – "that's the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?" She could see his body tremble, and she heard him swallow. She sighed and pulled her head away. "For fuck's sake, kid, stop grinding your teeth. I was joking – well, not really – but my point was gonna be that it's a hot day and I should probably get you a drink or something. My treat."

It took a moment for what she said to register, but then he laughed and nodded. "As long as you don't try to scare me again, I'm fine with it."

"I've yet to try," she replied cryptically, removing her hand. "Anyway, shouldn't we at least let Jiraiya-sama know where you're going first?"

"Nah," he dismissed nonchalantly. "Whatever he's doing, he'll be at it for a while.

"Good," Anko approved. "That vending machine over there looks like it has some good stuff."

Naruto, who had begun to walk in the opposite direction, stopped short and looked back at her. "Aww, I thought that you were actually gonna _take_ me somewhere!"

"I am, only the walk's about one-sixteenth that of the bar. What's wrong, not what you expected?" she mocked, sauntering towards the machine. "If you were thinking along the lines of a date, then you should've asked. You'd have a hell of a time trying to get me, though – I don't usually go for guys as young as you, even for just a fling."

---

_"Anko-chan, I feel I should give you a warning. There are certain people in Konoha who...ah, _disapprove_ of my teaching methods. I'm afraid that they'll tell you some rather demeaning things about me – and, strangest of all, I think they'll try to convince you to abandon me with these supposed 'facts'. It would be a shame to have a sterling pupil like yourself fall to such slander, don't you agree?"_

_"Yes, Orochimaru-sensei."_

---

Anko had spent a negligible amount of money on him, but it pleased him all the same. With bright eyes, Naruto popped open the can of tea and poured it in his mouth, gulping it all down happily. When he was finished, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and grinned, then chucking the can in a nearby trashcan. "That hits the spot," he cheered, stretching his arms.

Anko snickered. "That was pretty impressive."

"You think?" Naruto grinned, folding his hands behind his head. "Betcha can't find anybody who can beat me in a chugging contest."

"Well, then, you've never seen me drink," she countered. "Judging from what I've just seen, I can kick your ass with room to spare."

Naruto stood up straighter and chuckled. "You're on!"

"I only work with alcohol," she replied devilishly. "It's much more fun that way."

He stuck his tongue out at her and turned his head. Anko smirked.

"So, how hard was your training?"

He groaned in response. "It was killer. Sometimes I'd train non-stop for days on end, and then sleep and sleep and eat and then train... I think I got something out of it, though, so it's all good."

"Really," Anko inquired suspiciously. Seemingly out of nowhere, she pulled out a kunai and threw it in his direction. Naruto gasped in alarm and held an arm up to shield his face; it grazed his arm and landed in the machine behind him, taking a piece of fabric with it. A small line of blood appeared where it had made contact with his skin.

Anko shook her head. "You're really out of it, then. If you didn't do anything, it would've missed you completely."

He cringed. "Well..."

"Never let your guard down around anybody, not even those who you're comfortable with," she lectured, suddenly stern. "Not doing so will only lead to failure."

Naruto glared. "I know that." However, he took the time to blink, and then she was inches before him. She grabbed his arm and examined the scratch, frowning. He opened his mouth as if to yell, but she threw her other arm around his waist and pulled him close.

"Are you still planning to bring him back?" she whispered huskily in his ear. She felt him stiffen in her arms; she tightened her hold on the wounded limb and heard him growl. She was aware that there were people turning and looking at them on the streets, but she didn't much care.

His breathing hitched. "Yeah, I am."

She pressed against him, removing her hand from his arm and slowly tracing upwards. "I hope you're aware," she started to explain, "that Orochimaru's methods of brainwashing are very effective." Anko outlined the shape of Naruto's face with one finger and began fondling his hair. "Even if you penetrate Sound's defenses, it'll take a lot of skill to get him to want to come back. Do you think you can do it?"

It was clear that he was trying not to blush. "I _know_ I can," he blurted out, then shoved her away.

She backed up one step and stared down at him intently, unfazed. "So, why are you so set on saving him, anyway?"

"The simplest answer would be 'cause I made a promise," he answered, nodding, "but there's a lot more to it than that."

"I'm sure," she mused. She crossed her arms. "You're a good kid. I think you'll go pretty far."

"Everybody says that about me," he grinned. "Except for ero-sennin, who calls me a lazy bum. He's a dirty liar, though, so – oh, there he is!" he exclaimed, turning towards his teacher. "Hey, maybe you can yell at him for me –"

However, when Naruto turned back to question his newfound companion, she was gone.

---

"_Orochimaru-sensei, you wanted to see me?"_

"_Anko-chan, there are many weaknesses to be wary of, but naïveté is one of the most infuriating."_

"_Why?"_

"_If you grow to despise it exceptionally, like me, then that is most unfortunate. Not only is it pervasive, but it gives them a combination of hope, nostalgia, and for some, alienation." Pause. "It is truly sickening."_

"_Orochimaru-sensei…?"_

"_You will understand when you are older. I advise you to go to bed; we have much to do tomorrow."_


End file.
